Get Rid of Those "Fantasy Self" Items: Stop Wasting Time and Money on Clothes You Buy But Never Wear

Fantasy self shopping is the practice of buying clothes for an idealised version of yourself that doesn't match your actual lifestyle, resulting in wardrobes full of unworn pieces that drain both your budget and storage space. We've all been there – standing in front of a wardrobe bursting with clothes yet feeling like we have nothing to wear. The culprit? Those beautiful pieces we bought for our "fantasy self" – the version of us who attends gallery openings weekly, goes to brunch every Saturday, or transforms into a minimalist chic woman overnight.

What Exactly Are Fantasy Self Items?

Fantasy self items are pieces you purchase based on aspiration rather than reality. They're the silk blouses you bought imagining yourself as someone who doesn't spill coffee, the bodycon dresses gathering dust because your lifestyle involves school runs rather than cocktail bars, or those £200 designer heels that seemed essential but hurt your feet after twenty minutes.

As a stylist, I see this pattern constantly. Clients show me wardrobes worth thousands filled with pieces that have never been worn. It's not about the quality of the clothes – it's about the disconnect between who we think we want to be and who we actually are in our daily lives.

The Psychology Behind Fantasy Purchasing

We buy for our fantasy selves because shopping triggers emotional responses. That stunning party dress doesn't just represent fabric and thread – it represents confidence, glamour, and social occasions we imagine having. The problem isn't wanting to evolve your style; it's buying for a lifestyle that doesn't exist yet.

This behaviour is particularly common during life transitions. Starting a new job? We buy a "professional wardrobe" that's too formal. Planning to get fit? We purchase activewear for workouts that never happen. Moving to a new city? We imagine ourselves as more sophisticated urbanites than we actually become.

How to Identify Your Fantasy Self Items

Walk through your wardrobe and honestly assess each piece. Fantasy self items typically share these characteristics: they've been hanging unworn for over six months, you bought them for occasions that rarely occur in your life, they don't match your actual body shape or lifestyle needs, or you feel "not quite right" every time you try them on.

Ask yourself: "Would I buy this again today, knowing what I know about my actual life?" If the answer is no, it's time to let it go.

Smart Brand Choices for Your Real Self

The key to avoiding fantasy purchases is choosing brands that understand real women's lives. For high street options, Zara excels at trend-led pieces that work in reality, whilst COS offers minimalist designs perfect for actual daily wear. Mango provides excellent workwear that transitions beautifully to weekend, and Whistles delivers sophisticated pieces that aren't overly precious.

Jigsaw understands the modern woman's need for versatile dressing, whilst French Connection offers contemporary styles that work for real social occasions. M&S has transformed its offering to provide excellent basics that form the foundation of any realistic wardrobe.

For premium choices, consider Reiss for polished pieces that work across multiple contexts, or Me&Em for luxury casualwear that feels special enough for occasions but comfortable enough for reality.

Two independent brands worth discovering are Kowtow, which creates beautiful, sustainable pieces for real life, and Beaumont Organic, offering luxury basics that become wardrobe workhorses rather than statement pieces.

Building a Reality-Based Wardrobe

Start by documenting what you actually wear for a month. You'll probably discover you live in three outfits and ignore the rest. Focus on enhancing those core pieces rather than adding more aspirational items.

Invest in quality versions of what you know you'll wear: comfortable trousers that fit perfectly, blazers that work over everything, and dresses that make you feel confident without trying too hard. Build around your actual lifestyle, not the one you think you should have.

How Tellar.co.uk Helps You Shop Smart

One major reason we buy fantasy self items is poor fit – we convince ourselves we'll wear something uncomfortable because it looks good in the mirror for thirty seconds. Tellar.co.uk solves this problem by being the UK's leading sizing tool, matching your body exactly to over 1,500 brands instantly.

Here's how it works:

Measure once using your bust, waist, hip measurements, or your existing brand size.
Use their Store Size Lookup tool to get your precise size in any brand – COS, Reiss, Everlane, Arket and more.
Always free – no downloads needed, works in-browser.

Plus, the Tellar Fashion Hub is a library stacked with free posts from top stylists. Honest, unbiased, independent, and always free style advice, top picks, and best brand recommendations.

For more wardrobe wisdom, check out these essential guides:

The Freedom of Letting Go

Clearing fantasy self items from your wardrobe isn't just about creating physical space – it's about accepting who you are right now rather than constantly striving to be someone else. Your real self deserves clothes that work with your actual life, body, and needs.

Donate those unworn pieces to charity and focus on building a wardrobe that serves your reality. You'll save money, reduce decision fatigue, and finally feel like you have something to wear every morning. Because the best-dressed women aren't those with the most clothes – they're those whose clothes actually fit their lives.